Are weddings too white?
Have a look at this article by the BBC (link at the bottom) regarding interracial marriages - it certainly raises a few questions about what people perceive to be the perfect wedding.
Speaking from experience, coming from a mixed heritage background myself, and then thinking back to when my wife and I planned our wedding, again, of mixed heritage, I believe that this is something that needs to be more than just considered.
I wonder how much of their 'ideal' wedding plan the Royal couple Harry and Meghan had to ditch due to tradition and pressure from what is 'expected'.
What I expect is for every couple to have THEIR dream day, exactly how THEY want it.
Not only did we plan our day to feature everything that we wanted, so the day reflected us, and our tastes, we had elements from a variety of cultures.
Not only was the music from a wide variety of places and styles, our menu throughout the day ended up being a blend of Italian, English, Jamaican, Greece and French influences. I can't even remember where the coffee was from, but I'm pretty sure that if I thought about it for longer, I'd think of a few more!
My point being, if you can blend a menu, after a few tastings and tweeks, construct a playlist, and have a DJ play a mix of feel good what you fancy, surely it's not that hard to plan the rest! Or is it?
As a full time wedding photographer, I have my style, and my unique way of working. I say unique as I'm not just about me like some - it all centers around you. It's not just turning up and taking photos, anyone can do that - my aim is to tell your love story, that reflects you and your big day. I am an investment, my work is an investment, for you to look back on for decades. I am going to get in as much as I can, and work as hard as I can, so when you look back, you know! You know I delivered! You know what went down at your celebration, not only when you were there, but when you were not. You can't see everything right? But you know because I was there, capturing what you planned in all it's glory. I expect tears of joy as you both relive your day at that first viewing of my photos, why not? I want to evoke real love and emotion, that's my job.
But do others offer you that same commitment and service?
Sometimes, things can be very cliche, very old worldy, stale even, when your heritage is not considered, imagination and personality has not been allowed to flourish. Even if your dream venue is a historic English stately home like ours was, you can make it yours for a day as we did. Why can you not have a full on Indian, Nigerian, or Chinese inspired wedding in a high brow hall, castle, or on a beach?
I do not have to have been to a venue before to photograph it. Every venue, every wedding is and should be different. The weather is different. The light is different. The people are different. The end product is different and unique to you!
I am always learning, every wedding, every photoshoot, I learn. Everything evolves, people evolve - traditions and beliefs must also evolve. I am not saying get rid of them all, far from it, I'm simply saying be you, as you are.
So...... are you getting what YOU want? Did you get the help you needed from industry suppliers. Did they listen to you? Did they help you, to represent you and your needs?
If you want a red wedding dress, have one. If you want to come down the aisle like Eddie Murphy's 'Queen to be' in Coming to America, do that! (Just call me because I NEED to get that on camera!)
Bottom line.... if you want something, and people don't want to help you, do not give them your money and settle for a wedding in the blueprint of everyone else before you. If you don't like me, don't book me. If you don't get that vibe from a supplier, don't book them.
I have worked with some amazing suppliers over the years that almost litterally bend over backwards to accommodate you and your needs, without judgement, raised eyebrows, and all the crap you get from some.
I have friends, family, likes, wants and needs from every corner of this earth - fine blends of different people, different religions, with different sexual preferences, identities and beliefs. And they are all coming to my party, because that's me, they're me, and if people don't like it, while they have that selfish viewpoint, they are not invited.... ever!
I'm always happy to photograph any type of wedding or event anywhere, that is phyically safe of course.
BBC News - Are our weddings too white? https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-47632929